Has it really been almost a month since my last post? Obviously, we’ve been really busy around here. Earlier this month, I singlehandedly took Benji on a nearly 8 hour plane ride to Singapore (and back). It was actually less scary than I thought it would be, although it was still very exhausting. Thankfully, he slept a little on our flight over and for the most of the journey back (thank you, Phenergan!). The 10 days we spent there were (as always) amazing! I wish we could spend more time with the folks, and in Singapore!

Anyway, this post is really to update you about Benji’s sleep. We have had a history of terrible sleeps with Benji, especially nighttime ones. If you’ve read some of my earlier posts, you would know that we attended sleep school (which he flunked), Ferbered him numerous times, ignored, and read extensively on how to get our little man to sleep through the night. Each successful training period would very quickly be undone by sickness, and the most recent one, affected by his 12 month vaccinations done back in the end of November, all the holiday activities and travels, and a change in his daytime sleep patterns (2naps->1nap).

In the two weeks since we returned from Singapore, Benji went from waking up twice a night, to waking up nearly every hour. Very familiar – we last experienced that back sometime in August, where it got to the point where he was waking up once every sleep cycle (40 mins). This time, Bry tried Ferbering him (which got him to vomit), patting him, and camping out, but to no avail. We were exhausted and frustrated.

Finally, we decided to show tough love once again, and this time went with the Extinction method, starting three nights ago out of sheer frustration, at 4am. I remembered this moment vividly, as Bry kept getting cold feet, wanting to go in, only to be held back by my exhausted, half mumbles “just let him cry a bit more.” This “bit” turned dragged on until about 40 minutes later, when Benji stopped crying and put himself to sleep. It was a miracle.

The next night, he cried for about 15 minutes before sleeping, ON HIS OWN. He still woke up about 3 times in the night and whinged slightly, but each time, was able to put himself back to sleep within 10-15 minutes. Tonight, he cried for about 5 minutes before sleeping, once again, ON HIS OWN. How will he go for the rest of tonight? I’m not sure, but I have a strong feeling it won’t be as bad as it was pre-sleep training. Perhaps the previous sleep trainings helped him grasp the concept of self-soothe more easily. Or, maybe he’s more ready now than he was before. Whatever it is, we are thrilled and grateful that he’s sleeping better.

Now, fingers crossed he doesn’t get sick too soon after, so Bry and I can enjoy a few nights of good rest to catch up!

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Metamorphic.

This is how I’d like to describe my 2012. I had to grow quickly into the shoes of a mother, and then a mother who also worked outside the home. Spiritually, I found myself being transformed by His word and yearning to be more and more a disciple of Christ than being just a “Christian.” I have met some godly people this year who have been role models, and who have helped me with my Christian walk, encouraging me to press on when the going was difficult. 2012 was filled with lots of joy and love, as well as disappointments, challenges, and anxieties. Through it all, I had to shed old perspectives and adopt new ways of thinking and living. Hopefully, I have inched slightly closer to what God has willed for me in my life.

Next year is already looking to be another exciting one. I’d like to continue this metamorphosis, and think this is quite apt as my overarching verse:

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

How would you sum up your 2012?

I’m still here and present. The last month has been another crazy one; in a span of just two weeks, I got to know of two friends from separate social circles who lost their loved ones; one of them is a very young lady in her early 30s who passed away of cancer. We also got news that another family friend’s teenage daughter was diagnosed with a pretty malignant form of brain tumor/cancer.

News like that recalibrate my sense of reality and life, and makes me question what my purpose is on this earth, if there is one. I wonder about God’s plan, and His sovereignty. I’m tempted to ask a series of “why”s. It makes me wonder, too, if all the pain that life could potentially bring or eventually brings, can be masked by the joys we do experience. As a mom, I have asked the question multiple times, of what my child’s future would behold.

So bear with me while I am still mourning with my friends. I encourage you to read “A grief observed” by C.S. Lewis, who in his book raised some hard, philosophical questions about his faith in the time of grief over the death of his wife. I’m only a quarter way through but have found it really enlightening.

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Less than two months away from his first birthday this little cubbie is crawling everywhere and trying so hard to stand on his own two feet by himself. He’s also now able to take a couple steps when we hold his hands.

I’m so excited for these new developments but also trying hard to enjoy an savor every single moment we have with him now as it’s going by too quickly!

Things have been kinda crazy busy around here. We finished sleep school a week ago and Benji’s sleep is improved slightly, though he’s still waking up about 3 times in the night (down from about 10). We have also decided to make some bold changes such as hiring a nanny instead of sending him to daycare when we’re at work I’m also now back at work 3 days a week which makes the weeks go by even faster.

And speaking of time whizzing by, in less than 2 months, we’re going to celebrate Benji’s first birthday! How did it happen so quickly??? I’ve jut started thinking about the guest list and looking for baby-friendly cake recipes. Exciting times!

I’ve also been blogging more on www.speechiespeaks.wordpress.com about more speech and language related topics. Here’s one that I just published yesterday that might be of interest to some of the moms with young ones who read this blog:

Baby B, is now 10 months old. Physically, he is still little; he is very small for his age (5th percentile in weight, and 20th in height). But physical issues aside, his developments in cognition, language, and motor skills the last few months have been anything but little!

At 10 months, he is now able to interact with us in more familiar ways, such as:

  • making eye contact
  • reacting when his name is called
  • babbling, sometimes with some prosody and intonation that sound almost like he’s trying to speak in sentences
  • shaking his head to mean “no” (at times)
  • coping and imitate some of our gestures
  • waving his hands to (at times) indicate “goodbye” or “go away” (lol!!)
  • responding to some verbal and gestural requests

and more.

Most recently, in the last week or so, ..he also started saying “ma-ma-ma-ma”: much to my delight, though still not meaningfully (but we’ll get there!!!).

Now that he’s older, his toy box is also growing. Gone are the days where a playgym or a couple of hand held toys would preoccupy him for hours. He’s so much more active in every way and I’m having heaps of fun playing with him at his level, trying to encourage overall development. Yes, we’re talking SPEECHIE STYLE play. 🙂

If you are interested, here are some suggested play/language activities for your little 6-12 month old babies. Keep reading further for the bilingual edition.

Ball

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This is quite possibly Baby B’s favorite game at the moment. He LOVES chasing after the ball. He enjoys it when we get involved, too,  by rolling the ball to him and watching him throw it back to us. This is one activity I often do with kids on the autism spectrum who typically lack joint attention skills, to explicitly teach and show them the concept of turn taking and paying attention to others.

For Baby B and babies this age, this simple to and fro activity encourages joint attention and turn taking abilities, two very important pre-verbal and early interaction skills. Research has found correlation between strong joint attention skills and early receptive language abilities (Mundy & Gomes, 1998), and may even predict language development from about 6 months (Morales, Mundy, & Rojas, 1998) (both cited in Morales, 2000).

I like to add in language to describe what you’re doing. E.g., say “Mummy’s rolling the ball to XX” and when the kid catches it, go “Good catch! Now mummy’s turn!” and gesture for the kid to roll the ball over. You can expand the language even more by labeling the ball (size, color).

Peek-a-boo

It’s really incredible how tireless Baby B and other babies seem to be of playing peek-a-boo. We probably do various renditions of this game two or three times at any given day.

Even outside, Baby B would use his stroller blanket to initiate play with me. To encourage and acknowledge his initiation, I respond, even if I look really silly pushing a stroller and making weird, animated faces and gestures back at him.

Responding to your child’s initiations really encourages and fuels more communication.

Stacking blocks 

These knock knock blocks are great – soft, colorful, and textured. .

While Baby B’s not yet at the stage where he’s stacking blocks, I enjoy showing him how to do it. When stacking, I’ll use language containing words such as “up,” “over,” and since he’s learned to topple the tower (with a cheeky grin!), I’ll describe the motion of blocks falling down so he is also introduced to the concept of opposites like “up” and “down.”

Blocks are also great to introduce other words defining positions: prepositions such as (the aforementioned) up, over, down, and also above, beside, between…you might think it’s ridiculous to start telling/teaching your child these words at 10 months but they have actually been found to be part of the first 20 words learned/used by English speaking children (Brown, 1973).

Touch and feel/ peek-a-boo books

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I won’t comment or elaborate too much professionally on sensory input/integration in children; that’s the Occupational Therapist’s arena. However, I can talk about how the littles ones enjoy absorbing the sensory input they get from tactile books. This also allows for, yes!, more language building opportunities! We can talk about how things FEEL – and add to the adjective directory of your child’s vocabulary. For instance, does the book feel: soft, bumpy, prickly,…?

I’ll also elaborate more on how/why you need to keep  reading books to your child.

Between 6-12 months, infants can already grasp the concept of books and actions associated with this activity. For instance, using their little fingers to touch and feel tactile books. Baby B has been introduced to these books very early on, and now he will automatically use his fingers to feel pictures everytime he sees a new book, regardless of whether it’s a touch and feel book in anticipation of some sensory input. Between 10-15 months, your child should also know to turn the pages of books, and less and less, put books in their mouths immediately.

With peek-a-boo books (those with flaps), your child should thoroughly enjoy pulling down the flaps to see what lies underneath – again, and again, and again…

As a speechie, I’ll also add: Keep reading to your child; spend sometime everyday to read a book or two, even if you’ve read them before. You can describe pictures, label people, places, actions, sounds, or even make up a new story around the pictures in the books. Bottomline: You can never talk too much to your baby. And better do it now when they still won’t mind it. :-p

Here’s a comprehensive checklist of literacy milestones from 0-24 months old I like.

Hand puppets

These are great toys to introduce to babies the concept of real vs pretend/imaginative play. We know that for the next few years, the child should engage in pretend play. Countless research has also remarked on the salience and benefits of pretend play in cognitive and language development (Bergen, 2002). Currently, Baby B loves the puppet frog we have, and is amused whenever I turn on a different voice for the puppet. He seems to realize that the puppet frog’s voice is mine and that I’m “pretending” to be that puppet frog, controlling its movements.

For a child who is language delayed, they might get this pretend play, and even if they don’t, they might be somewhat intrigued/confused by it. Either way, you have a pretty good shot at getting their attention with puppets. Then, once you’ve commanded their attention, continue on the play and continue to draw the child’s attention to what you’re doing.

Making “music” with boxes, plastic blocks

As infants around the 8-12 month age range start copying movements, I like to facilitate that more and more. Copying enables us to learn from each other, and interact effectively; and, yes, this skill starts very early in life!

I try to show babies, and toddlers in therapy, that sounds can be made by hitting on cardboard boxes or banging two plastic blocks together, and then see what they can do with that. Try to do a few beats here and there, and then as they grow older, do more sophisticated, rhythmic beats. Sometimes you can even pretend to hit the boxes, but use your voice instead to sound the rhythm. Showing the child that objects can make sounds, and then encouraging the child to also make them with their voices, is all part of language development.

At this stage, Baby B enjoys hitting two plastic toys together, and sometimes also banging on boxes or pots and pans (Gulp!! So noisy!). Sometimes I’ll chime in by singing a song and then hitting on the box to the rhythm of the song. (Yes, I took music classes – could you tell?) This is to make the whole learning experience more fun and enjoyable.

Imitate your child’s babbles 

I have to be careful here when I say this…when your child is still babbling, you can and should imitate your infant’s babbles in response. BUT, when they start speaking, they will mispronounce words as their sound systems are still developing – do not imitate those incorrect productions. Instead, model correct words and sounds, regardless of how cute their productions are. E.g., Child says “nana” for “banana.” Model the word correctly for your child “Oh, I think you meant “BAnana” instead of continuing to use “nana.”

Why, then, do you want to imitate your infant’s babbles? Because they haven’t yet learned to meaningfully attach words or babbles to things/feelings/actions. They’re still exploring sounds they can make with their mouths, so encourage that!

Besides imitating, I also like to throw in a few new sounds for Baby B to see and learn. E.g., he’s now babbling with the “b” “d” and “m” consonants. I throw in an “f” or “v” or even some Mandarin only consonants so he hears them and hopefully explores and tries to produce them.

Baby sign

I haven’t been as vigilant about using baby sign, but now that he’s starting to imitate hand gestures and movements, I have resurrected my goal to teach him a couple signs. Baby sign comprises of meaningful gestures designed to teach babies to communicate efficiently their wants and needs. Because baby sign is not a language – in that it does not have any grammatical structures or markers – it is not intended to replace verbal skills, but to complement it.

The idea behind baby sign is that since babies typically learn to attach meaning to gestures earlier than they can use verbal language meaningfully, why not teach some simple signs so they can communicate more efficiently at an earlier stage.

Baby sign can be especially useful for children who are speech and language delayed. If your child is still not babbling or using one-word utterances by 12 months, you should seek professional help for an assessment and might also like to look into trying to teach your baby some signs to facilitate communication.

***Bilingual Edition***

If, like me, you speak another language and hope to raise your child to speak more than one language, NOW is the time to immerse your child in that other language. New research has shown that infants as young as 10-12 months start picking out the sounds of their native language and discarding those that are not (Kuhl, 2012, presentation on TED).

If the other language you speak is a less preferred one, then more effort has to be made to remember to use it with your child. Everyday, I do have to consciously remind myself to speak to Baby B in Mandarin for at least a couple hours. Because Baby B’s dad does not speak the language, I try to do it mostly when it’s just me and Baby B.

Basically, I try to do all the above play activities in English and the other language. For my own sake, I tell myself to speak only the other language at a certain time in the day. And outside those hours, I sometimes also pepper my speech with it. Recently, I’ve also borrowed and bought Mandarin books to read to Baby B in that language. Mandarin books and songs on the iPad also help remind me to use this language more to Baby B.

Who knew there’s already so much you can do with an infant! 🙂

Hopefully, this installment has been useful to some of you new moms out there and/or moms who are concerned about your child’s speech and language skills.

What other ways do you try to develop your infant’s communication? 

References:

Bergen, D. (2002). The role of pretend play in children’s cognitive development. Early Childhood Research and Practice 4(1).  

Brown, R. (1973). Development of first language in the human species. American Psychologist 28(2): 97-106.

Kuhl, P. (2012). The Linguistic Genius of Babies. TED talk: http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html

Morales, M., et al. (2000). Responding to Joint Attention across the 6-month to 24-month age period and early language acquisition. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology 21(3): 283–298.

Here is where we are at these days with Benji’s sleep: still regressed and tough. He’s had a bout of colds and flus and gastro virus thanks to daycare, which has not helped out cause. Now that he’s slightly better, we got admitted to sleep school to help us all with settling him.
Night one went really well for me: I got to sleep!!! The kind nurses settled him as they tried to work out his threshold, while I was so zonked out, I barely noticed anything until this morning when I saw the log book of how he went in the night.
They use some modified version of controlled crying here, going in and out of the room to teach him to self settle. We are booked in for 3 nights but I have a feeling we will have to extend our stay. Some women have been in here for a week! As the proverbial “misery loves company” goes: it’s been good to have support from the other moms here who are dealing with similar battles.
Let’s hope this will help us all and get us back on track.

PS: during his gastro episode, Benji also lost a ton of weight that he already has so little of…he is now gaining but still very slowly. Another Ped appointment in a couple weeks to try to sort that out. We will get there!

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Pic taken the first morning after: a very tired Benji with his unusually refreshed mom. 😉

Executive Summary: Eat your fruits and vegetables! | EWG’s 2012 Shopper’s Guide to Pesticides in Produce™.

For those who don’t already know of this list, I recommend reading it. It is expensive, but we try to buy organic when necessary, for Benji’s sake. I like this list because it also tells you what foods are least pesticide laden so you can save some pennies buying non-organic versions of those foods!